Responding Instead of Reacting

photo by Jan Tik

This week I attended a lecture by Dr. Marcia Reynolds, CSP, author of "Outsmart Your Brain!". It was a fascinating and informative lecture on how our brain works in relation to our thoughts and emotions. Below is some of what I learned and extrapolated from her lecture.

Our brain is made up of three parts: 1) Reptilian-Primitive Brain or our Survival Brain, 2) Mammalian-Social Brain or our Emotional Brain, and 3) Cortical-Thinking Brain. Our #1 Survival Brain is at the core of our brain; it's focus is on survival of the species - SAFETY, FOOD, and REPRODUCTION. Because this brain is constantly asking "Can this hurt me?" All of our painful experiences are recorded in this brain, so consequently we also store all of our FEARS in this brain too. FEAR, ANGER (often a mask for fear), and STRESS all reside in our survival brain. This is why we are so quick to defend or shut-down when we feel threatened- our survival fight or flight mechanism has kicked in to protect us. But when it does our blood immediately flows to our extremities to strengthen our ability to fight or flee, leaving our brain without sufficient oxygen to think clearly and process options. Mammals give live birth so the emotions of love and caring for our offspring needed to be developed to ensure the survival of the species. Brain #2 our Emotional Brain hosts our emotions, long-term memory, and our identity formation. You may not remember your past, but your brain does. Brain #3 is our Thinking Brain where we process thoughts, creativity, short-term memories, and make choices.

Each of these brains function independently with the Survival Brain at the base and the other two on top. Before we can process a thought in brain #3 it goes through brains #1 and #2 first. So if you want to change your thoughts you must first change your emotions. Dr. Reynolds recommends beginning by identifying when you are having an emotional reaction from brain #1 or #2. Then take a deep breath to restore the oxygen to your brain and ask yourself "Will this really hurt me?" "What are the consequences of this?" By breathing and detaching ourselves from the survival-emotional reaction we are shifting ourselves into brain#3 our Thinking Brain where we can choose how we want to respond to a situation or event instead of just reacting to the stimulus. As we change our emotions we are able to change our thoughts, which makes us able to change our behaviors. So we can choose to respond instead of just reacting to any given situation or event.

These ideas and more can be found on her website or book Outsmart Your Brain